What stops you from having more freedom in your life?
Do you worry too much, or have been experiencing difficulty saying "no" to others?
Here are some tips that can help you move towards more personal freedom:
Have you noticed the tension between feelings of freedom and those of security? It’s natural to want both. You may be thinking; "I want to be in a relationship and still to maintain freedom to do as they choose", or "I want to go on vacation and still feel that my financial security is intact". It’s similar to the tension that arises between independence and leaning against another, between releasing and holding. If you find this tension coming up for you, simply notice it. Is it possible to have freedom without security, and security without freedom? Recognize what this tension means to you, and the sources of both freedom and security in your life.
How can you create more freedom in this area of your life? open a notebook and write down all the conditions that would enable you more freedom. Once you recognize your conditions consciously, it'll become easier for you to ask for what you need and thus be supported to manifest those conditions in our life.
If you're not allowing yourself all the freedom that you can have - what are you avoiding? And how are you avoiding it? What's the worst thing that can happen, if you have more freedom; financially, in your relationships, or in your career? Answering these questions will help you identify internal "freedom blocks", so you can continue to release them later on.
What are your beliefs on freedom? Notice thoughts such as “I have no time for taking a vacation”, or “I’ll never be free of this worry, or this person”, “My family would think I’m being lazy”, "If I have more freedom, I'll loose the relationship, or the business", "One cannot achieve freedom without having a lot of money", "Being free is being alone", etc. If your worries are limiting your freedom, a coach or a therapist can help you to identify your limiting beliefs and set goals that address your needs, while considering the needs of your environment.
Ask yourself, what resources do you have that you can use in order to create more freedom in your life? What are your internal and external resources? These can be emotions, thoughts, energy, family, or a romantic partner who can be recruited to support you in your mission to have more freedom. Identify resources that may be missing.
Identify things that you do regularly that contribute to your feelings of freedom. These can be described as "Freedom Rituals". Be sure to make time for those activities. Do it with love and care for yourself, and you'll end up with more love and freedom to give to others, as well.
If you’re feeling stuck and freedom seems to be too far out of reach, try to break it down to smaller chunks, and focus on doing just one thing at a time, that creates freedom in your life.
What is your relationship with the word “no”? Might it be difficult for you to say “no” at the expense of your freedom? If you identify this as a challenge, find out how you may be giving away your autonomy by silencing your own needs. In this case, a professional can help you strengthen your "no" and the boundaries that you exercise with others.
Pay attention to physiological signs of freedom, or lack of. Where in your body do you experience more freedom? Freedom feels like expansion and flow. Try expressing your longings and desires by moving your body around freely or dancing. When you’ve found the sensations of freedom in your body, see if you can fan them to spread throughout all of your body in the same way that you would fan a kindling fire.
I hear people say, “Don’t try it, just do it!”. Personally, I believe in experimentation. It’s ok to try and it’s ok to ask for help if you need it.
If you had all the freedom that you desire, what else would you like to experience, through this feeling of freedom, that is even more important to you? Sometimes we think that in order to achieve one thing that we desire, we must go through something else, first. Fortunately, it’s possible to take a direct route, with the right guidance and tools.
In emotional intelligence training, the first stage is recognition of emotions, feelings and desires. Then we’ll need commitment (motivation to change a given situation), and finally, tools for continued awareness, expression and healthy communication.
I wonder what would happen if you work on enjoying more freedom, and what a wonderful rest of your year it can be!