This Trick will Help you Find the Emotional Obstacles That Stand Between you and Your Goals
Is there something you really want, but just can't get yourself to accomplish? This tip can be of benefit to you, whether you want a relationship, an American citizenship, or to lose weight.
Look for a minute at an image that represents what you want, such as; an image of lovers on a beach you've found online, of a friend flaunting their Certificate of Naturalization, or a picture of someone who's managed to lose weight and who's reached their weight goal. You can also use a physical or mental image of yourself. Look for a few moments with a soft gaze, free of judgment or thoughts, as much as you can.
Now, while facing the picture, draw attention to the emotions that arise in you. They may not make sense to you at first, but they are very important to your self-development. This is because the emotions that arise may give you a sign as to what is holding you back from achieving your goal, on a subconscious level.
Are there any fear or worry? If fear comes up, as yourself "What will happen to me when I achieve this goal myself? What am I going to give up? What will I lose? Or who? What can happen if I achieve the desired goal?"and notice if you're feeling nauseous or uncomfortable.
I look at the image of the couple in love, and I feel fear of failure, that I will "ruin it", "make him/her run away," I feel brokenhearted, have thoughts of losing my identity or my sense of security, and so forth...
I look at the picture of a friend celebrating their Naturalization, I want that too. But I feel sick, worried that the meaning of an American citizenship would be "betraying" my homeland and my family, that I will never "come home"...
I look at someone thinner than I am, and I'm afraid that when I'm thin, I will not be protected; from the world, from men, from situations of lack of sustenance. I'll go our more, meet someone new, and might get disappointed...
Finally, you can really pin point your emotional obstacles by completing the following sentences:
"I want __________"
"I do not want ____________"
"I'm afraid that ______________"
"I'm afraid I'll never ____________"
Fear often feel like a contraction in the shoulders and chest, and an accelerated heartbeat. Knowing this may help you to pay closer attention to your emotions. The more you bring your underlying fears (beliefs, thoughts) to your awareness, the more they will lose their hold on you, and you will be able to set goals and achieve them more effectively.
If you did not succeed the first time, keep trying!
You may also use the support of a coach or therapist to help you identify and overcome your obstacles.
Other emotions may arise, such as jealousy, guilt, shame, frustration or disappointment. Each is a "road sign" that can help you better understand yourself and remove obstacles from your path.